


To Love an Enemy

by PrinceBrigan



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-22
Updated: 2012-10-22
Packaged: 2017-11-16 20:44:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceBrigan/pseuds/PrinceBrigan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin never expected to see that face again. He assumed that he was lost to the world, another Druid that he wouldn’t have to face. He was wrong though, so terribly wrong. As he sat in the snow he tried his hardest to get few a things through his mind, but that was starting to freeze over as well. Glancing over at Mordred, Merlin shook his head. The purple scarf draped around his face in just the right spots, hiding his curly hair. His clothing didn’t detract from his features either; quite frankly they made him even more attractive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Love an Enemy

Merlin never expected to see that face again. He assumed that he was lost to the world, another Druid that he wouldn’t have to face. He was wrong though, so terribly wrong. As he sat in the snow he tried his hardest to get few a things through his mind, but that was starting to freeze over as well. Glancing over at Mordred, Merlin shook his head. The purple scarf draped around his face in just the right spots, hiding his curly hair. His clothing didn’t detract from his features either; quite frankly they made him even more attractive.

By now he had to have been eighteen, only a young boy when Merlin first saw him. He had gone through his aging process gracefully, and now instead of fearing him, he wanted him. It was a barbaric idea. Mordred was fated to kill Arthur; he would be the undoing of the kingdom. And even though that was true, he couldn’t help but want him. 

Merlin was twenty-eight, a ripe young adult with absolutely no experience with love. He may be Emrys but he still had his urges, he still found people attractive. Being a servant to the king has it perks but it also limited him to the young girls that worked in the palace. And quite frankly, he didn’t want any of them. He found women beautiful, stunning even but he never wanted to date any of them. There was only one, Freya… But no one after her. He sent her away and never looked back. 

Sighing he dug his face into the snow and groaned. The freezing felt so much better than the thoughts swirling around in his head. He didn’t want to think about him, he shouldn’t. He was bringing them to their doom. Why did he even have these feelings to begin with? He’d been with Mordred for a day at the most, and he hadn’t seen the boy in years. This was all too difficult to comprehend and in all honesty he didn’t want to. 

A few minutes later he heard the snow crunching under someone’s boots. “Emrys” 

“Merlin” 

“Fine, Merlin. You shouldn’t dig your face in the snow like that. You’ll freeze it off.”

“Right now my face freezing off would be a million times better than what I’m feeling right now.” He heard a sigh and then the snow beside him squish into the ground. 

“Why do you hate me so?” 

“Because you will be Arthurs undoing. It’s my job to keep the turnip head safe and I can’t do that if you are around.” 

“People change Merlin. Back when I was a child. Sure, I might have wanted to kill both Arthur and Uther. Uther brought a plague onto this land and it was killing off every soul that even considered magic. We hated him; the Druids began to despise Uther. Normally we are a peaceful people but not when you banish our existence. After Uther’s death things began to change. When Arthur took the throne he made a more peaceful land and didn’t kill anyone unless they needed to be killed. The Druids began to have hope again, that’s when I realized that Morgana was the corrupt one. Her hatred grew and festered, no one is her friend and everyone is a pawn. Merlin I believe in the world that Arthur is going to bring, when he realizes that magic has been protecting him for a long time… When he realizes that you have always been by his side. He’ll allow magic and the druids, and all magic folk will be happy once more.”

Merlin listened to the male sitting beside him. He sounded sincere and hopeful. He almost fooled Merlin into thinking that he was telling the truth. Sitting up he wiped the snow from his face and looked at Mordred. “I can’t just believe you. If what you say is true then you have to prove it to me. And the fact that you’re taking us to Morgana right now isn’t much help in the matter.” 

“I know Merlin, I know. I’ll fix this I promise. Here, eat. Feed Arthur too, we can’t have either one of you dying.” Mordred handed Merlin a loaf of bread and stood up. “I’ll get you guys out of this.” 

Merlin took the bread gratefully, his stomach was giving him fits and right now he just needed to get his mind off of Mordred. Breaking the loaf in half he threw one of the pieces at Arthur, startling him awake. “Eat. It’s safe, I’ve already tried it.” 

Arthur nodded and took the bread, nearly wolfing it down. “Where did you get this?” 

Merlin looked at Arthur then over to where Mordred was lying down. “Mordred gave it to me. Apparently he still has some goodness in his heart.” 

“Why would he do this? We helped him, he was such a sweet child, a Druid boy nonetheless, but he seemed good.” 

“He was Arthur, he was a good one until he was hunted down by Uther and his relentless laws. Do you see what your father did to this kingdom? It turned innocent children corrupt. He could have been a physician, or someone to help the people for good. But now, now it seems that he has joined forces with Morgana. Morgana is working against the magic ban, the ban that keeps Mordred from being his true self. It’s partially your fault Arthur, you’re still afraid of magic. Magic is being used all around you. It’s protecting you day and night and you think that it is something to shun. It isn’t though. If you would just see what the magic folk could be like you would understand. They’re turning against you, turning corrupt because they’re not allowed to use their power. Before this happened, before your father Camelot was a peaceful land, there were peaceful sorcerers. Sure there were still the bad but at least we were allowed to fight the evil with magic. It’s hurting people Arthur.” 

Merlin watched as Arthur nodded and moved back to where he was, lying down again and finishing his bread. Merlin was tired of hiding his magic, and he was tired of hiding who he truly was. Maybe if Arthur allowed magic again Mordred wouldn’t kill Arthur… Mordred. 

Dammit why did he have to come over here in the first place? Why did he have to show this kindness that Merlin wanted so dearly. He wanted to love Mordred, but it had to have been forbidden. Loving your Kings death… it was a preposterous idea. But he couldn’t help himself. The more he thought about it, the more the idea of Mordred lying in bed with him at night became more alluring. Gaius would surely have his head for this, but Merlin couldn’t deny his feelings. It seemed that he was going to be doomed to protect Arthur. It was his duty, his reason for being. 

Merlin had been staring at the snow for hours when he felt something drape across his shoulders and down his back. Looking up he saw Mordred, a soft smile place on his lips.

“You need to sleep Merlin. It’s late and everyone else is fast asleep. If you stay up any longer you’re going to be far too tired to walk tomorrow. We still have a long way to go.” 

Merlin nodded and curled into a ball on his side, bringing the blanket closer to him. The last thing he saw before going to sleep was Mordred’s face, still laced with that smile. 

Hours later Merlin woke up, the blanket still wrapped tightly around him. The fact that he got this luxury obviously meant that either Mordred was playing at something or perhaps he was being sincere about yesterday. Either way he was really grateful. Getting up he brushed the snow off of him and headed to where Mordred was sitting. At this moment they were the only two awake, which was actually how Merlin wanted it. 

“Thank you for this. I really appreciate it.” 

Mordred nodded and took the blanket from Merlin, throwing it onto the cart. “Sit down, I want to talk to you.” Merlin nodded, sitting down. “Back in the forest, all of those years ago… When you tried to kill me. Was it because of what you told me yesterday? That it was my fate to kill Arthur.” Merlin nodded. “As I suspected. I hated you for such a long time after that. I couldn’t figure out why someone of my kind was trying to kill me. The elder told me later on that you had your reasons and I shouldn’t continue to hate you. Actually, I started to keep tabs on you. I had to know who Emrys really was. I had only known you from our encounters and if I might add you seemed like a bit of an ass.”

Merlin chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I was. Though you seemed like a tender young child and look how you turned out. Plus I was much younger then. Eighteen is an age that one doesn’t necessarily think through everything. I just listened to everything that the dragon told me. I still listen to him but I do try to find ways around what he tells me.” 

“Eighteen… so that makes you twenty-eight? Hmm, you seem so much younger. Anyways, I did notice that you were a different man that what I had seen from you. You were kind, and always caring. You did try to find out ways to change fate and sometimes you achieved that. Though sometimes you just made it worse. Guess that’s what happens when you have the weight of Camelot on your shoulders. Still, you were… you were amazing simply put. I never really thought we would ever meet again. I didn’t know that my fate was to kill Arthur. I can tell you that I honestly don’t want to though.” 

“I didn’t know that we were ever going to meet again. I just hoped that I wouldn’t have to deal with you, and the problems that I thought you were going to bring. I guess I was right though. You got me and Arthur chained and heading to Morgana.” 

“Look Merlin I’m going to get you and Arthur out of here. I promise. Anyways, the point of all of this… I want to tell you something. Something that I’ve been tossing around since I saw you. I know that you’re older than me, ten years at that but I suppose that doesn’t actually matter all that much. Anyways… Merlin, Oh I don’t know how to say this.” 

Mordred leaned back into the snow and looked up at the brightening sky, still covered with grey clouds. “Merlin you mean a lot to me. I know that you hate me, and that you have absolutely no lick of trust in me, but I like you Merlin. Not as just a friend. When I saw you today everything came rushing back. I just wanted to, I don’t know Merlin. I just thought that it would be nice if I woke up next to you. But at this rate it’ll never happen. And to top it all off you’re a servant, there is no place for me in Camelot… We’d never see each other.” Mordred sighed and closed his eyes, covering his face with his hand. 

Merlin really didn’t know what to feel right now. Mordred liked him too, and he had the same thoughts that he did. “Mordred, I’ll admit… I like you too. But I can’t, you’re fated to kill the person that I’m protecting. Plus Arthur knows that you’re a Druid so I doubt that he’ll allow you to enter Camelot. To make matters worse I’m beginning to trust you. I can’t lie next to the man that will shove a sword though my destinies heart.” 

“You trust me?” 

Merlin nodded. “I’m beginning to. You’ve been far too kind to me lately, it’s weird and it only makes think that everything you’ve told me is true. It just, I don’t know Mordred. I want to love you, I want to, but I can’t. I can’t let myself succumb to you. You’re handsome, far more handsome than I ever thought you were going to turn out. You’re not as scared as you were when you were a child. You’re confident and know where you stand in the world. You are almost the epitome of perfect but I can’t. Mordred, I’m sorry.” 

Mordred nodded and looked at Merlin. “Merlin, I have one question. Can I have one single kiss?” 

Merlin looked at Mordred, that face… God he couldn’t resist him. He was handsome, beautiful even. “Yes Mordred, just this once.” 

A smile broke out across Mordred’s face as he sat up, leaning in and connecting their lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. When Mordred leaned back he smiled gently, placing his hand on Merlin’s cheek. “I’m not going to give up on you Merlin. I know you won’t give up on me either. I just have to prove to you that I’m better than what that vision told you. One of these days we will lie together, I promise you that.”


End file.
